Recently my girlfriend and I did the ‘Grouse Grind’. It isn’t what you think; it’s actually a steep upward hike up a mountain. Afterwards we went for chicken burgers and laughed as she busted my balls for finishing fifteen minutes behind her. After that we went back to my place, had sex in the shower, then lied on my couch and watched TV.
Then, we broke up.
We both knew it was coming, we both knew it was inevitable, so we decided to stop kidding ourselves. The difference between this breakup and others I’ve been through?
I love her and know that we can’t be together right now. She loves me and knows she can’t be with me right now.
I’ve never experienced this before; therefore I don’t really know what I’m experiencing. I figured sharing it over the internet can’t be a bad idea.
I’ve never gotten along so well with a girl. I’ve never met such a matching personality. I’ve never had more fun with another girl. I’ve never met someone with such similar humour to my own – which is the biggest turn on for me, by the way. But timing dictated that this relationship couldn’t work out.
She’s 2 years older than me, which ultimately doesn’t mean shit, but rather we’re at important stages in our lives.
I need to figure out who I am as a person, my own identity, and I can’t do that while committing myself fully to someone else.
She’s in the same boat. She is only in her mid-20s, and needs to understand who she is before she can commit herself to someone else.
It would have been easy for us to stay together. We would have still been happy and in love, but it would have been fleeting, which always leads to apathy. This is someone that I can see myself spending the future with, which is why I can’t be with her now.
I am young and making important decisions that will shape my life, and I can’t make these while factoring in another person’s needs and wants.
The most unfair thing a person could do is resent another for decisions that they made – of course when one is young, not married or a parent.
I never believed before that I would be able to stay friends with someone I’ve broken up with, but she is someone whom I truly care deeply about. We both want to be in each other’s lives long-term, not necessarily romantically, therefore it just wasn’t the right time to be in a relationship.
We need some time apart before right now, but maybe we will become best friends at some point. Maybe we will end up together down the road. Maybe we will live on opposite ends of the world and lose touch.
The beautiful thing is that no one knows really.
You can fantasize about eloping in City Hall ten years from now and running away. You can fantasize about seeing the world together. Then again you can fall in love with someone else and never hear from this person again. Breaking up now leaves an open future. This is someone I love and want to have an open future with.
I respect that some readers may think this is all a lame excuse. Some may think that I’m a big wiener. Some may completely disagree, some may completely agree. As with all matters, people will have different opinions and I can always accept that.
Do you think I made the right decision?