Does Sex Change You?

The first time I had sex was pretty anti-climactic. I remember thinking, is this it? Really??? The biggest “change” I felt was the huge weight that had been lifted off my shoulders.

xx

I didn’t have to carry this burden called my virginity anymore. It was like the gates had opened and freedom was waiting for me on the other side.

I no longer had to worry about saving my golden virginity for that out-of-reach pedestal.

There’s so much pressure on your “first time.” It has to be with someone you love and care for, it has to be meaningful. It is going to be great.

Um great?

Let’s be honest… how many people even achieve an orgasm on their first time? Wait, let me rephrase that. How many women achieve an orgasm on their first time? For men, their first time really only requires a few thrusts before they reach that level of ecstasy. And we just lay there like… uhhhh cool story bro. Sex didn’t make me feel like a different person,

it only exposed me to an endless supply of new experiences. New first kisses, positions… flavored condoms…

(ew just kidding about that last one)

xc

My point is that sex isn’t some life-changing moment. It’s just something new. Something different. Something we all end up getting used to (unless you’re getting tied up… who gets used to that?). We put so much emphasis on who we are doing it with and when – that it’s like we forget to enjoy it. My first time lasted maybe five minutes and to this day, I barely remember what “it” felt like or how I even felt during it. It was just about getting the act of sex over with since I was with someone I thought I was in love with.

Now my first orgasm… THAT I remember as clear as yesterday and it sure as hell didn’t happen my first time.

Was your first time life-changing?

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xoxo,

FARRAH فرح
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Comments

  1. There are different perspectives to everything. Sex can and also is meant to mean something as well to me, not something that is just meant to be used for new experiences. That’s not the definition of sex for everyone. Also, there’s no problem being a virgin and saving it for the right person, or for that matter having sex with only someone you love.

    • Hi Emma,

      Thanks for your comment! I agree, I think that virginity is important and that sex can be special with the right person. My point here is that the act of sex… doesn’t exactly change anything. But I do think that accepting your sexuality does – it’s a frame of mind, your emotions. I think that there is so much pressure on the act of sex that sometimes we forget what’s important, which is accepting our actions and doing it for the right reasons – not just because society tells us we have to wait for something specific. Then again, it’s much easier for me to blog about what I think :)

      Thanks for reading!

      xo, Farrah

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