Can A Relationship Boost Your Self Esteem?

As a child, I remember tearing out pictures of brides and sticking them in my diary, while dreaming of walking down the aisle with my Ken-like husband.


I didn’t even know why I was continuously tearing these pictures out, but it felt like I should–  I had seen women do it over and over in movies.

A lot of women have a preconceived notion from friends, movies, relatives that…

we must get married and have babies to be accepted and happy.

Since I was a young girl, my mother talked about planning a lavish wedding for me similar to Cinderella’s rendezvous at the ball minus the fairy godmother. Because of this, I believed a wedding must be: huge, amazing, and the happiest day of my life.


Whenever I’m with my girlfriends and one of our friends becomes engaged to a guy, everyone automatically starts wailing about how jealous and lonely they are. Being in a relationship is nice and exciting, but…

it does not make the insecurities disappear.

During my freshman year of college, I thought that being with a guy would alleviate my stress from all my schoolwork and my job.


So I went out with the first guy who showed interest in me. After the excitement of a new relationship wore off, I started realizing that a relationship isn’t just being able to have sex whenever and wherever I wanted.

I still felt lonely and my self esteem was high for all the wrong reasons. I was putting in work and effort into someone I didn’t even know. It subsequently turned into a bumpy, year and a half relationship.

I simply wanted to have someone I could call my boyfriend because I thought this would somehow make me more worthy in my friend’s eyes.

Having a boyfriend/husband/significant other does not and will not determine your worth because that only comes from within you. Self- esteem is up to you,

which is why it has the word “self” in it.


Little things like inside jokes with your friends, being with family, beautiful sceneries, starting a new chapter, surprise visits from old friends, eating new and exotic foods, and last days of school are what we should appreciate and hold onto. It took me two more relationships to realize…

i am still amazing even when I’m single.

I don’t need a 30,000 dollar wedding, Vera Wang dress, and Tiffany’s ring to make me happy. Love will come at the right moment. It is not something we should force due to societal expectations. Be single and love it because life doesn’t start when you get into a serious relationship; life starts now.





NADIA نادیا

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