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New Beginnings: Be Selfish

As I try to think of what ‘New Beginnings’ means to me, I quickly run through resolutions: write more, Skype with family once a week, firmer buttocks, but these all seem a touch minuscule (although my koon is looking great these days). Looking at the idea in a more macro light, I tell myself: I’m in my mid-20s; what direction do I want to take for the next x amount of years?

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I want to be selfish.

Right now, I’m trying to search what fits in my life, and my life alone. I feel like I’ve lived, for the most part, selflessly up until now. I want the decisions I make in my life to focus and mirror what I want. I’m looking to make my choices without taking others into consideration.

If it sounds self-centered – it’s because it is. The whole idea is about becoming a more self-centered person.

Incorrect decisions, dead-end paths, chlamydia? I can forgive all of these. Passivity, I cannot. I’d rather make foolish, erroneous choices than none at all. By taking a selfish point of view, you afford yourself the opportunity to ask what it is that you truly want.

I don’t have chlamydia, by the way.

I’ve been dating this girl for a couple of months now. She’s great. Sincere, pretty, amazing hair – I have little complaints really. She’s an artist, so she takes me around to gallery openings as arm candy. We have a lot of fun together. But, I don’t want to be in a relationship. Relationships are a commitment to another, and I don’t want that in my life. Doesn’t mean that I want to have sex with every girl around town, I just don’t want to factor another person’s thoughts and feelings into my macro decision making. We haven’t talked about a relationship or monogamy, but I sense that conversation is around the corner, which means we will stop seeing each other. You could argue that I sound like an asshole, which is fine.

After verbalizing my thoughts and writing the last paragraph, maybe she’s also enjoying dating and not looking for a relationship. I really shouldn’t be so full of myself.

Rarely do plans seamlessly transition from idea to execution. For reasons that I may write about before my beard turns grey one day, I cannot completely exclude all from my decision making. I have a close relative who, for better or worse, is affected directly by what I decide for my future. It isn’t a complete dependency, but I’m solely helping steady their life. Although I would never abandon this person, I need to draw direction and move forward myself.

These are the best years to think of no one but yourself.

There will be plenty of time for spouses, children, mortgages, and all other commitments that drive ‘adults’ to therapists. If you have none of these responsibilities, make choices that benefit yourself solely. Too many times we see/hear of people wishing they took more risks or chose different routes in their youth. I’m a big believer of being able to redefine who you are, well into your 50s, 60s and beyond. However, our youth affords us the opportunity to fail. And fail well. If you’re in your 20s, or 30s, and you don’t have any major responsibility tying you down:

be selfish.

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Peace,

NIMA نیما
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Comments

  1. haji firouz says:

    being selfish is of utmost importance for someone in their mid twenties. its a time to set goals and to find out exactly what one wants out of life.
    making the people around you happy is not going to make you happy. you’re on the right track nima, keep at it and i’m sure you’ll end up doing what you love

  2. Thanks for the kinds words Black Santa.

    Although independent thought process is self-rewarding (did that make sense?), it’s always awesome to hear people of similar age going through the same thing!

    Good luck in all the choices you make in the next little while; choices for the better and worse.

    Nima

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