I Love and Hate Dating White Boys

I really try not to discriminate: Asian, Black, Mexican, Persian obviously, and Sefeed – you name it, I’ve tried it. And as much as I prefer Persian, you have to work with what you’re surrounded with. Especially on the east coast… which is 90% white.


Looking back at my dating history with white guys, I’ve come to realize that there are certain things I really love about dating them… and some things I just can’t stand. And somehow it’s all interchangeable… 

Hate: They can’t speak Farsi. This mostly bothers me because…

there are some things you just can’t translate into English.

Like khak to saret. You know, those fighting words that really drive your point in an argument. “A**hole” doesn’t carry the same weight as some choice words in Farsi. Alternatively, what’s the English version of “ghorboonet beram?” 

Love: They can’t speak Farsi. Leaving plenty of room for secret conversations right in front of them… since they can’t understand. I know it’s mean, but mostly helpful when you want to fill in your friend about the sex last night and he’s not leaving the room.

smileHate: Dating someone outside of your culture requires you to be a teacher 24/7. Why does your mom burn that herb? (esphand). Sometimes, I don’t want to have to explain the quirks (aka normalcy) of my family…

Sometimes I just want to be with someone who isn’t continuously thinking that my family is weird.

Because they’re not. And esphand is a necessity.

Love: Dating someone outside of your culture also allows you to share a new experience with them. And let’s be real, those experiences are pretty memorable. Dancing at a mehmooni? And, sometimes you learn something new from them too. I would’ve never known shuffleboard was a real game if it hadn’t been for some white guy forcing me to play.

Love: They know how to plan a romantic date. Walk along the beach, stroll through the DC monuments late at night, hold your hand in a scary movie.

dateHate: At the end of the day, Persian guys know all the Persian girl standards/tendencies (mostly) without you having to spell it out for them. And white guys don’t. That’s just reality.

Every Persian girl expects some variation of princess whether they like to admit it or not.

Hate: Tarof. You cannot Tarof with white people period. They do not understand what Tarof is.

Love: You learn how to stop Tarof’ing (to an extent). 

And finally, I hate the generalizations that are made of Persians when white guys have one Irooni girl under their belt. As if, we are all the same. But I guess my hatred towards their generalizations makes this post the most hypocritical one ever.

I’m not sorry.

Do you have a different experience with dating white guys?







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  1. I’m a Persian guy from a family with zero Persian culture- parents divorced, re-married Americans, my mother left Iran because she hated the culture, I never visited Iran, and I don’t have extended family, etc. etc. let’s just say I act like an American . I’m very straightforward and actually mean what I say and take others at face value. I had a disastrous relationship with a Persian girl that ended a couple months ago and she actually said she expected me to “read her mind” and we had tarof battles like no one’s business! Except, I WASN’T tarofing, and was being straight forward. But she thought I was tarofing. Which ended with “wow, he’s so rude/selfish!” when I gullibly crossed the tarof-line and accepted her offers. It was one of the worst experiences in dating I’ve ever had, because here was a woman who genuinely and whole heartedly believed that communication is nonsense and being direct is beyond rude and in fact “lazy”. How would you go about advising a non-culturally Persian Persian male (yes, we exist!) how to date Persian women? I have almost no problems with American women.

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