Does “One Size Fit All” in Relationships?

A friend of mine from college got engaged about two years ago and recently broke up with her fiancée. Of course, the entire thing was made public on Facebook, right from when they first started dating until her relationship status announced “single” and all their pictures together disappeared from her profile.


A few weeks ago, I noticed that almost everything she posts now is all about the pride of being single. So in a single day you get about 10 variations of posts like “30 Good Reasons Why You Should Wait Until You’re 30 to Get Married” or “Why Being Single is Great.”

Then, just last week, on her birthday she posted a status explaining that of all her birthday wishes, she was disappointed that many people said things like “hopefully next year you’ll spend your birthday with your husband.”

This, she said…

contributed to women’s lack of motivation and dependence. They need to know that life is not about ‘a man’ who comes and makes all your wishes come true and your life complete! They need to understand that there’s so much more to life.


The questions here are: If I wish to spend my next birthday with my husband…

does this make me a ‘dependent’, frail woman with no sound directions in life despite my career?

And does acknowledging the importance of a man in my life mean that I don’t know the importance of other things like family, friends or my job?

You see, one of my biggest pet peeves when it comes to relationships- hell when it comes to anything- is the idea that…

one size fits all.

My issue here is not that this girl thinks being single is great, it’s that she is trying to impose the notion that women who seek or wish for marriage are just brainwashed by patriarchy and don’t know any better.


If we are going to talk about patriarchy, there is a completely different tone and set of questions to ask.

We need to stop making generalizations

…and claiming that one size fits all when it comes to our experiences and relationships.




YASMINE یاسمین


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