How Could You Be A Virgin If You’re From America?

Growing up, my favorite part about going to Iran was the boys (and family). Something about those skinny jeans, spiked hair, and small, round mid-section (result of too much polo/rice) that got me every time.

tipMy trips to Iran were spent with my cousins going dor-dor (Translation: driving around and picking up boys), finding secret locations – someone’s apartment or a dark coffee shop – to go on group dates. In true Iranian dating style, we never dated just one boy.

Serial dating was taken to a whole new level. My cousins and I would date at least two boys at once… don’t even get me started on how many girls the boys dated at once. But, I was still pretty innocent in the bedroom.


I was the virgin Amrikai girl

that Irooni boys texted hoping that I’d live up to my “American ways.”

I never really knew much about the reputation of American girls in Iran. I knew that was a virgin… but didn’t really understand why others would think otherwise. It only took a few incidents of a guy getting too handsy and frustrated when I realized that American girls are infamous in Iran…

infamous for partying and promiscuity.

I was regularly faced with the question, “how could you be a virgin if you’re from America?” 


And no one wore my virginity more proudly than my family. I was given constant praise, “Even though she grew up in America, she is a very good girl.

As if somehow my lack of sexual experience was something to be proud of … or just plain shocking.

When it came to dating, my cousins and I always found ways to be alone with boys in Iran. And those alone times weren’t spent sneaking off to the bedroom. We spent them playing Truth or Dare — where everyone always asked if I was still a virgin when I chose “Truth.”  

When it came to family, I probably had the highest number of khastegar’s that I was related to only because I was the girl that could offer a whole new life in America, but had still maintained my innocence.

If only everyone knew that I ended up losing my virginity in IRAN.

I love Iran.


I experienced a lot of firsts there: my first time kissing a boy, saying I love you, losing my virginity, trying Fessenjoon…






Something I Never Want to be a Part Of


It’s been awhile since we’ve had a guest post and we all know you get a little tired of us from time to time– plus, there’s only so much sex we can have… at once… (joke).  Please meet Holly Dagres– Iranian American- Aslan Media Columnist- Researcher for Cairo Review- World Traveler- Bad Ass of All Things Middle East – this list could really go on for an entire post so check out her website (click here).  

Joonies, I like to pride myself on being an Iranian-American with having the unique opportunity to grow up in Iran during my teenage years. It’s definitely given me a nuanced perspective of things people don’t often look profoundly into. Coming from divorced parents, the idea of marriage has always been approached with caution. It’s no wonder that when the topic of “khastegaris” (marriage proposals) comes up, I tend to cringe at how simple people choose their significant others.

Ever since I could remember, I’ve had mothers running up to me on street corners, asking if I had not wed yet. This is just based off of my not so Iranian features, which consists of fair skin (you’ll learn why that’s important in a moment).

Then there was the one neighbor who offered my mother a ‘business deal’– my hand in marriage for her son.

[Read more…]

%d bloggers like this: