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How to Keep HER Interested

After Nima’s post last week on how to keep guys interested – deleshoon bekhad – I think it’s high time someone spelled it out for all the men in our lives who seem to only know how to complain about women.

Women are so confusing.”

Um no.

andyy

Big shout out to our joons who contributed via Twitter! 

We’re sick of hearing about how girls are cray. So we’re here to help the boys out. Give them some of the basics so they can stop being so basic.

1. Ask her questions.

Yes, we already know you have a job (hopefully), and that you’re a potential catch. But don’t forget that you’re on a date with us… not with yourself. No hos to hear your life story on a first date.

cargo

2. Just be cool.

Dating is definitely a source of anxiety. Believe me, we feel it too. But can we not be Persian-old-school about it? If the point of dating is to get to know one another then why would you not keep it real? Forget about your “image” and the “game.” We’re not as interested in your house, car, or mom.

(@prrrsiankitten) and (@melissaetehad)

3. Bathe… and notice that we bathed too.

(@ant_tea)

You are lying if you think there is no vanity in dating. We made an effort to look for nice for you. So notice. Say something. We notice you. And we say things…

cute

4.  Just be cool, part 2.

Basically, don’t be so thirsty. You don’t like desperate girls, we don’t like desperate guys.

(@shamirang)

5. Don’t be disrespectful towards your exes.

If we’re going to date you and for whatever reason it doesn’t work out, it will be a lot harder to not get crazy if we know how much sh*t you’ll be talking. Plus it’s tacky. Why does the “ex talk” even have to happen until absolutely necessary?

(@politicallyaff) and (@dokhtar110)

There you go, boys. The survey results are in. Not as hard as you make it out to be.

What dating tips are we missing?

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tweet me @farrah_joon

xoxo,

FARRAH فرح

3 Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Dates

Dating is awkward. Apart from the high level of anxiety and expectation, you are trying to get to know someone while stuffing your face full of food (attractive). In most cases, you are going on a date with someone you don’t know too well, sitting around and asking great inquisitive questions like: “What do you like to do for fun?” and “What’s your favorite movie?

Even in my own short dating experience, I seem to have collected a good few bad experiences. Here are some colorful experiences:

No blurred lines:

On one of my first ever experiences of dating I went out for drinks with a classmate. He was in his late 20s, a bit older than your typical college student, but I liked that- maturity, stability, and a more interesting life than 20-year olds. Conversation seemed to be going normally until he started talking about his ex-girlfriends. He mentioned that he had dated older women before, particularly a woman in her late 40s/early 50s who wanted to have sex all the time.

Quote of the night:

“And I just didn’t want to have sex all of the time, she was very… horny.” [Read more…]

I’m Not Your Therapist.

A couple months ago I started seeing a guy and very quickly it was established that we wouldn’t be in a relationship. But, there was mutual attraction, and we both wanted some sort of physical relationship – so “friend with benefits” it was. It was all fine and good – for a month.

Who could complain about a physical, no strings attached, fun relationship?

Well, clearly I was disillusioned and naive. No, I didn’t develop feelings, and he didn’t develop feelings either.

But, emotions did get involved. We tend to try to separate all parts of our lives in neat corners and groups: we want to have separation of work life and personal life, we want to have work friends and college friends, we want to have a physical relationship without emotions.

But compartmentalizing our lives doesn’t work out too well.

So, what happened? Why was it so hard to keep a repeated physical relationship, just physical? We would hang out 1-3 times a week, have fun, text or talk throughout the week. Soon, this guy started to open up to me about a lot of emotional and personal issues, relying on my advice and the fact that I would listen. And that was the problem:

I hadn’t signed up for this. I didn’t want to be someone’s therapist or even talk to someone about my own issues and insecurities- because that was it, we were not in a relationship to have that level of emotional intimacy with each other. [Read more…]

Baby, You’re a Firework

Joonies,

I think I’m going through some growing pains – or the lack of dating happening in my life right now is pushing me over the edge. Life always feels a little more boring when you’re personal-personal life isn’t cracking. Then again, when I think about dating… I think about how much I really hate it.

I know I’m supposed to “enjoy the beginning” and the fireworks, but to me – dating looks a bit different than shooting stars and moonlight walks by the beach.

Please excuse any signs of bitterness – this is probably a direct result of my need to get screwed.

First – all of our senses are heightened.

wait

1. Anxiety – is he a stalker/rapist? 

This could merely be my Persian paranoia – but you never know these days. And who’s going to tell me how safe the guy I met at the Middle East Young Professionals Happy Hour is? NO ONE.

*Sidenote: Google is a beautiful thing. I know some people argue about “leaving something to mystery,” but fuck that – if you can guarantee me that I’m 100% safe then I’ll relinquish all cyber-stalking rights.

2. Fear – will he like me? 

I don’t mean to sound like the needy/whiny girl we all love to hate – but let’s be honest, we all go through it at one point or another (man or woman).

You can never escape your insecurities – that extra roll in your stomach is going to come up in your head when you’re about to invite a guy in. [Read more…]

I Can’t Stay Away From Persian Girls

Eide hamatoon mobarak.

While I have no qualms getting funky on the 31st of December, the first day of spring is my new year. Not only because it is the Persian New Year, but based on the solar calendar, frankly it makes the most sense. Nevertheless, I never miss Iran and my family as much as I do during Eid. All of them in Shomal, eating fish, rice with herbs and raw garlic. Being surrounded by my family is what I miss most during Norouz.  While an unhealthy amount of coddling meant I had to move away from my family, I wouldn’t mind sitting around being overfed by my mother just about now.

Happy New Year to all of you, but a special Eid to those who couldn’t be with their families for whatever reason.

I love Persian girls. I am easily most attracted to them from a superficial standpoint. Their hair, their eyes, their skin, frankly I’m a sucker for Persian girls. Having said that, why is it that every time I end a relationship, no matter how serious or casual, with a Persian girl, I take a huge break from them?

date

Not from girls, from Iranian girls. The truth is, relationships I’ve had with Persian girls have been by far the most mentally taxing.

Numerous occasions I found myself thinking “just date another ethnicity”, it is much easier. However, after awhile, I always find myself slowly gravitating towards another Persian girl. [Read more…]

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