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Celebrate 4th of July with a Japadog

You don’t have to be a baseball enthusiast, culinary critic, or a morbidly obese person to realize that hot-dogs are truly an all-American favourite – especially on the 4th of July.

joon

You’d be surprised to know, though, that hot-dogs are by no means a domestic invention, especially not the one I’ll be cooking up today.

The sky is the limit when it comes to hot dogs, and that’s why they’re so damn popular all around the world or at least in all the airports I’ve visited going to and from places.

Recently, however, a rather unwanted quality has become commonplace when serving hot dogs in the street, one from which neither vendors nor customers benefit very much from in my opinion. That’s right, I’m talking about the price that these suckers are sold at these days. They’re expensive, taste like crap, and lack the certain bang-for-buck they’ve been known to be famous for – and it’s disappointing.

Admittedly, some of these dogs do deserve the price tags they’re assigned: At Japadog that is the norm.

Japadog is a Japanese style hot dog vendor famous in Vancouver for selling some of the best damn hot dogs this city has ever tasted. They fit right into the hot dog and sushi lover niche that has apparently taken a hold of our beautiful city, but I digress, because this is about the 4th of July.

I want to show you how to recreate an all-American favourite food invented by Germans over 500 years ago, brought to the US 120 years ago, refined by the Japanese nearly 10 years ago, and made by an Iranian living in Canada for your viewing pleasure.

If that’s not the spirit of the 4th of July, then you clearly need to be fed democracy by force. So here it goes:

JAPADOG:

Hot dogs are not hard to make, regardless of your cooking abilities. So instead of babying you through the easy bits, let me explain what sets the food-matter aspect of the dog apart from the taste factor.

Obviously, when making high-grade hot dogs, either make them from scratch or spend a little more money and get the ones without the added sawdust and pigs-anus. Super-important if you want it to taste good and not make you sick. I’ve found Costco to be a fail-safe option, especially because their all-beef Polish Sausages have a distinct garlic taste to them.

And yes, size does matter, especially if you want it to really fill you up

(pun or no pun, this needed to be said).

Equally important to the quality of the sausage is the bun. I like my buns to be soft and lightly floured, but if your fancy ass wants good old sesame seeds with an aftertaste of regret, go ahead.

Ingredients (per hot dog):

  • 1 Hot dog sausage
  • 1 Bun
  • 2 slices of Bacon
  • Seaweed (preferably dried Sushi Nori although roasted seaweed works too)
  • Mustard of your choice
  • Japanese Mayonnaise

step1

The key to making it taste like Japadog is to have the Japanese mayonnaise and the right seaweed.

The first step to our adventure is to slow-cook some bacon and to score the hot dog to allow for expansion and proper cooking. I say slow cook because you want all the oil to really drain out of your bacon without losing its flexibility.

You can never go wrong with this much bacon. Ever.

You can never go wrong with this much bacon. Ever.

These buns differ from traditional ones because they’re much softer and lighter. Think of brioche buns – that’s what they taste like.

These buns differ from traditional ones because they’re much softer and lighter. Think of brioche buns – that’s what they taste like.

Next pan-fry your sausages in a little bit of vegetable oil – making sure to rotate them every minute or so. Think of how 7Eleven prepares their hot dogs and try and emulate that.

step4

step5

Meanwhile grab your seaweed and cut it into tiny strips. It’s difficult as hell, don’t be dissuaded by that.

Remember this stuff from my Sushi post? It’s from the exact same batch.

Remember this stuff from my Sushi post? It’s from the exact same batch.

Looks easy, but unless you have a super-sharp knife this task is as daunting as counting grass leaves.

Looks easy, but unless you have a super-sharp knife this task is as daunting as counting grass leaves.

I got tired of cutting seaweed with a dull knife so I put this through my pasta maker. Perfectly shredded.

I can guarantee you that unless you’re an iron chef, you’ll never get them this perfect unless you use a pasta maker.

I can guarantee you that unless you’re an iron chef, you’ll never get them this perfect unless you use a pasta maker.

Next, toast the insides of your bun and garnish it with a strip of mustard.

step9

If you don’t shake the damn mustard bottle first, you’ll end up ruining you hot-dog. Amateur.

If you don’t shake the damn mustard bottle first, you’ll end up ruining you hot-dog. Amateur.

When your slow-cooked bacon is done, dry it on a paper towel and immediately paste it to the walls of your hot dog.

I like to call this the flavor-barrier.

I don’t see bacon. I see a star spangled banner of freedom.

I don’t see bacon. I see a star spangled banner of freedom.

I could make all kinds of innuendos here, but pictures are worth a million words.

I don’t see bacon. I see a star spangled banner of freedom.

When your hot dogs are nice and cooked, with a little bit of crispy around the edges, get them out and put them between the bacon.

step13

The next couple of steps are self-explanatory.

step14

Zig-zagging not only makes it look nice, is gives the seaweed more surface area to attach to. And they say you will never use math in real life – pffff.

Zig-zagging not only makes it look nice, is gives the seaweed more surface area to attach to. And they say you will never use math in real life – pffff.

The Japanese mayonnaise is available in places like Wholefoods. It tastes infinitely better than regular mayo.

The Japanese mayonnaise is available in places like Wholefoods. It tastes infinitely better than regular mayo.

The Result:

And there it is, your very own 4th of July Japadog. When eaten correctly, you’ll first get a taste of the soft bread on your tongue, followed by an explosion of mustard, mayonnaise, bacon and sausage – perfectly enhanced by the inherent crunchiness of the seaweed. Pair that with a your favourite beverage and you can enjoy the fireworks outside with some fireworks in your own mouth.

final

final1

So, would I make it again? Absolutely. Hot dogs are easy to make, they taste decent, and if you put a little bit of effort into them you can turn them into full-blown gourmet meals. Although this may not be an exact replica of a Japadog menu-item, it serves more as a proof of concept – the concept being that you don’t have to shell out a fortune just to enjoy something so easy at heart.

Plus, serve this at your 4th of July BBQ and…

you may just become the coolest person in the neighborhood (on the cheap). 

All-in-all this took me 15 minutes to make, including taking pictures and cleaning up.

Check out Arash’s creative recipes and food reviews on his cooking blog: Bread, Butter, and Bacon.

TWEET @BREADBUTTERBACN

FACEBOOK HIM.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY FROM ALL OF US TO OUR JOONIES!

20 Things Persian Moms Don’t Like

In honor of Mother’s day, we’re going to list everything that has our Persian moms saying..

don't like

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1.  When you make fun of their english…

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2. When you talk back…

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3. When you bring people over unannounced…

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4. When you eat things before they offer it to you at a mehmooni

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5. When you don’t say “Salaam” or “Khodahafez” to every single person at a mehmooni

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6. When you call them out on their gossiping…

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7. When you don’t eat the food they cook..

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8. When other moms brag about their children..

michelle obama

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9. When you tell them they can be embarrassing sometimes…

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10. When you don’t share all your secrets…

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11. When you ask for ‘space’…

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12. When you forget your manners, in general

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13. When you don’t clean your room…

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14. When you don’t listen to them because you’re distracted by your phone/computer/TV…

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15. When you don’t formally offer up everything in the fridge and pantry to your friends…

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16. When you don’t answer 7 out of the 10 calls they make to you daily…

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17. When you get frustrated over the phone just because they’re asking if you ate all your fruits and veggies…

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18. When you try to teach them the politically correct way to refer to minorities…

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19. When you forget that they’re your best friend…

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20. When you forget Mother’s Day…

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What else would you add to this list?

25 Things Our Middle Eastern Parents Should Have Talked To Us About

Recently, I’ve been thinking of all the conversations I didnt have with my parents, because they were too busy telling me to clean my room and fix my B+’s.

And I compiled a list of those topics. Maybe some things need to be learned the hard way, but some of these should really find their way into a dinner conversation.

1. Being smart doesn’t substitute for working hard

climb

2. Condoms & Birth Control.

sex ed

3. It’s OK to fail

You can’t get an A+ in life.

failure

4. Try again after you fail.

edison

5. Not all Relationships have to end in marriage.

vintage wedding

6. Love who you want.

lions in love

7. but love them honestly and faithfully.

up gif

8. Education is a gift you give yourself, not a box you checkmark.

do it for you

9. You can make a living off art.

do what you love

10. Getting a nose job won’t make your life better

or any plastic surgery for that matter. 

happiness

11. Attitude can make or break you in tough times.

So hop-on that positive thinking, meditating yogi wagon quick. 

meditate

12. What people think about you really doesn’t matter.

what people think

13. Pride and Ego are toxic.

pride

14. Judging others will never end well for you.

DONT JUDGE

15. Sex tapes are bad ideas

and naked pictures. snapchats. whatever.

bettie page

16. Sometimes you really do need to sit down, and shut up.

Stop lecturing and preaching. Just listen.

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17. Individuality is key.

rumi

18. Know your worth.

single

19. Why you should not compare yourself to others.

comparison

20. Financial Planning.

gold coin

which also leads us to…

21. How to Budget.

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22. Being successful is never about money.

mo money

23. Don’t be entitled.

sweet 16

24. What comes easy, won’t always last.

dulyposted_worth-it_quote1

25. How to let go.

What else would you add to this list?

Everything You Missed | The Weekly Roundup

Here’s what you missed this week:

special needs

  • We all know Tehrangeles has it going on – Iranian restaurants, ice cream shops, cafes, and hookah bars. But who knew India has some of the oldest Iranian cafes around?
  • A story of Forgiveness and the most emotional story from the week: Iranian man spared from execution by the parents of the man he killed.
  • Speaking of eating, there is a fake Chipotle in Iran and it may looks better than the real one. Seriously.
  • Mohammad Ali Ziaei is the center of attention with his Iranian Caricatures (and even the non-Iranian ones).
  • Iranians invented math, ghormeh sabzi, and pajamas. You’re welcome world.
  • The clothing scene in Iran is transforming into a “hipper” style… and designers are making a splash all across social media.
Source: reorientmag.tumblr.com

Source: reorientmag.tumblr.com

submit links for the weekly roundup here! 

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Surviving Without Persian Parents

Most of us spent our adolescence counting down the days until we could move out; so we could be rid of the rules, questions, and weird home remedies. I would dream about moving to the east coast when I was just in high school.

olivia

I’ve been living far away from my parents for three years now (happy anniversary… almost) and I’ve come to a few harsh realizations (other than the obvious I miss them):

1. When I call them more than they call me. When I lived in the same state as my parents, if I missed calling my mom for ONE day, she’d berate me for worrying her. Now she’s too busy to talk to me.

lauren

2. Stating the obvious: home-cooked meals. But like…

Whose mother is not a good cook? And how is leaving that not the biggest sacrifice?

Just make sure you find a place to live that’s near an Iranian restaurant for a little to-go Fessenjoon action (downside: your parents aren’t paying). And take a big suitcase when you visit home, because your mom will sneak frozen containers of ghormeh sabzi and tahcheen into your bag.

Sorry, I don’t consider “learning to cook” an option.

pp

3. Most of all, I can’t believe how much I am like them. I probably judge people almost as much as my mom does. Hell, I judge people for not talking to their families a few times a week. I’ve definitely adopted my father’s lecturing conversation style. Thanks Dad. And the ‘yelling on the phone’ to make a point? Yep, I’ve started doing that too.

You don’t realize how much you are like your parents, until you step away from them.

No wonder we’re so good at doing impressions of them.

reza

Obviously, it’s not all bad. Being away from Persian parents, you can choose which guys you want to introduce them to. They won’t discover it on their own by a random drive-by or “accidentally” using your phone. You don’t have a curfew (adulthood means nothing to our parents)… etc.

Our culture puts a strong emphasis on family – supporting one another, living up to their expectations, and being reliable for them. I hate that I miss moments in my parent’s lives and if anything exciting happens to me, they’re the first people I call. For all of their control issues…

The Persian family bond is undeniable.

It’s not just about the folded laundry and housekeeping that you don’t even have to ask for. Though the esfand is definitely a must-have.

SEXANDFESSENJOON@GMAIL.COM

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TWEET AT ME: @FARRAH_JOON

xoxo,

FARRAH فرح

To FOB or not to FOB?

Hi Joonies,

Let’s talk about the advantages and disadvantages of dating FOBs.

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First, a basic definition to start off with so we’re all clear as to who this concerns:

F.O.B – (n) an acronym for “Fresh Off the Boat”, and refers to new immigrants to a country (mostly Western). Now commonly used to describe any person new to a country, who is not well versed with its language or culture (mainly Western). Can be taken as an insult, or a term of endearment (eg; pride of culture).”

PRO: They speak the mother tongue so well, and it gets you kind of hot when you guys are alone. And you know that amazing ‘Farsi/Persian‘ skills means a slam dunk with the parents.

CON: But then you realize that they have a Persian accent when they speak English, and that just makes you feel all self-conscious when you bring him around your friends. (and let’s be honest, you can never convince yourself that the accent is sexy.)

PRO: They seem to still have some old school culture and chivalry, and that makes you feel warm and lady-like– I mean, a man with manners who picks up the tab is always sexy.

CON: But some of that chivalry just turns out to be chauvinism and ….

PRO: In their lives, FOB guys have had it pretty rough and left everything they’ve known to come to a new country with a new culture. They’ve proved they can stand on their own two feet.– DAMN. #Respect

CON: BUT, they may be on the prowl for a woman just so she can replace his mom. He could be missing the warm meals and clean laundry. (watch out!)

PRO: Finally, there’s so much they can teach you about a part of your culture that you never got to experience because you’ve never spent more than a vacation’s time in Iran.

That, arguably, could be priceless.

CON: Or it could be exhausting because you’d have so much to catch them up on.

Hello, Pop Culture waits for no one!

So I guess the jury is out. With a FOB, you gain some -you lose some. It all comes down to a matter of personal taste (and patience), right?

thoughts on our new look? sexandfessenjoon@gmail.com

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FOB/noFOB,

SAAGHI ساقی

How I Feel Around White Girls

Hello there,

It dawned on me recently that I didn’t have many white girl friends (and by many I mean less than or equal to one). I can’t seem to get one to stick around for the long-friendship haul and I’ve been searching my soul to understand why?

When I’ve gone out with them, I just feel like its quickly turned… boring.

The conversations revolve around things I just don’t understand. Normal Things. Like cute dinner parties as told by DIY-Pinterest Gods. That I’ve never been invited to.

Or new Half-Marathons to run. Which make me think of running the mile in PE Class…unfortunate memories

image

Or new lifestyle diets. Paleo, Juicing, Gluten Free, Vegan— I can’t even keep up with what’s the latest. But if I brought that lifestyle home my Persian family would have a few choice words for me, “Ghormeh sabzi ya kooft bokhor” (Trans: or eat crap).

But honestly, JUICING? [Read more…]

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